Relationships in any capacity takes work. This could be personal, family and work, any relationship takes 2 people to make it work.
Realistically we all have disagreements and arguments in all relationships, this is normal and healthy. Nothing is perfect ad no one person is perfect.
However when a relationship starts to go wrong, we go through many emotions, in many ways it is like a grief cycle.
We want to know why ? why did they say this, why did they do this? Why did they behave in this way? Why me ? What have I done to deserve this. We over analyse information and the situation, which plays on our mind.
We feel angry and the sadness and then depression can also overtake our emotions.
When emotions are involved, they overarch everything we feel and it can be hard to let it go. Also people may come from different pages about a situation and cannot see it from another point of view. When this happens, people tend to not be able to forgive, which can be hard to deal with.
We start to reflect on the situation, the emotions come back to the front, so we old onto those emotions.
This is one of the main reasons that we hold grudges. They cannot forget for forgive, they cannot forget the feeling or what was said.
Holding on to past emotions, holding on too grudges, can be very detrimental to our mental health, it can consume us, we think about it, we play things over in our mind and keep thinking why. It can affect future friendships and relationships and our own self esteem about who we are.
I ask the questions what does this give us ?
There is a saying –
The past is gone
The future is ahead
We can only live in the present.
Letting go can be hard, we may still hurt, but what can be done about what has gone ? The answer is nothing, what has been done and said has been done. We cannot change this, but we can try to move on with the relationship and with our own life.
How can we do this?
- I always recommend people to put the past in boxes and have the ability to close the lid on that box, so we can move on.
- Write feelings and emotions down and throw it away
- If a relationship is worth saving, talking can benefit, it may help to talk things through, it be not be something you want to talk through, so only you can decide this.
- Mindset – what have you learned from situation and try to use it.
But one thing is for sure, if do not let things go, it will consume you.
So in the words of Elsa
Let it go…..