It’s been a while since I last posted a blog.. Behaviour is something that has come up a lot recently with many people i have been working with, so i thought i would write my experience and some ways to handle this.
Being positive and good mindset is a way of life for me now. I have always tried to be a positive, happy person. Even as a kid, I was always “chatty”, ok maybe a bit too chatty according to school reports! Makes sense now after ADHD diagnosis
Even in bad times, I tried to keep positive, but I have had a dark spell over the years, that manifested as depression, some days it was hard to actually think, let alone feel, but I work every day to ensure I never go to those dark places again.
However, some people just breed a negative attitude; they always look at what is wrong, bad, what can go wrong, always a problem, never a solution, always a moan, no matter what is happening or what you do, it is a moan!
Now I am not talking about someone who is going through a hard time and feeling down, i am talking about the energy vampires, that suck things out of you.
Now, it could be that they have their own demons, their own issues, their reasons for this behaviour, but without a doubt, it can bring you down. It can affect you, it can bring you down. It can then bring you into that negative frame of mind.
When this happens, the other person’s constant negative mindset and attitude can rub off on you, and you can become as negative.
Now you might not think this will happen, or you may not realise that it happens. It sometimes takes some self-reflection or another person to point this out.
I worked with someone who was always complaining, always negative about things, the people, managers, even when I felt positive, by the end of the day, I was negative and hated work. I honestly didn’t realise just how bad it made me feel, even when I enjoyed work, if I was working with this colleague was affecting me… I have also had friends who were very negative and quite toxic in their ways, nothing was ever good, always had something negative to say.
It can take a while to realise that individuals are like this, you also may not realise the effect on you mentally, but it also drains you both physically and mentally.
So what can you do?
Walking away may not be as easy as it sounds, but if a friend is treating you like that, or bringing you down, making you feel drained… walking away may be the best solution for you. You have to think of your mindset. So if walking away is the best solution, then do it.
Talking to individuals about their behaviour may be an option, but in my experience, they never see this attitude in themselves, so they don’t respond well to the discussions. However, if this is an option and you feel they are worth the time, then try it.
Avoiding the individual at work, being pleasant, but not getting into lengthy discussions with the person, try to limit the time spent with them.
Ensure you feed your mind; we need to feed our minds with positivity, and we can control what goes into our minds, so make sure it is
positive.
Remember, it’s their behaviour, it’s not a reflection on you, you cannot control other people’s behaviour, you can control how you respond.
As always, thanks for reading and hope you take something away.
Janine
